Hindsight.

We have all at various times in our lives heard and even at times said that if we had
hindsight at the time life would be very different.

Actions, inactions, decisions, thoughts and intentions spurred on by emotions, especially strong emotions, are rarely for our highest good. At the time we can justify our position, especially if those emotions are positive ones like Love. Looking back with hindsight however very often produces a very different image and one that causes a great deal of anxiety, guilt, regret or even remorse in people.

Hindsight causes me to go inward, to reflect on the events and my responsibility in my role as half of the equation. I felt it is time to share my insight into one of life's more interesting subjects, the ability to see into our lives and introduce hindsight when it is most needed, at the time things are happening.

How is this possible you ask? Well, it isn't easy, but the steps are relatively simple. Does this mean you will never find yourself having hindsight in your life after the event? Maybe, but I tend to lean towards no as we are all human and subject to human failings. One of the reasons we came here in the first place was to learn and to grow, we need the limitations of being human to achieve many of those lessons. Hindsight can and is a very valuable tool in that learning.

The steps are as I said, relatively simple and involve some insight into what is happening around you. Life gives us indicators, sign posts of the path we have chosen. Sometimes those signs are subtle, sometimes they are IN YOUR FACE. The really prominant signs often come when we haven't listened to the subtle signs which are the ones we either miss, or choose to ignore. The choice to ignore is the what I will be focussing on. The ones we miss we weren't meant to see at the time, however, as you learn to listen to the ones that you used to ignore, it is then that the ones that used to be missed become seen.

As humans, we have pretty good insight. All of us do. That however, doesn't mean we all listen or take notice, but it is there none the less. That insight comes often at the very beginning. It may be a subtle feeling, it may be a word said, or a small action that shows us something. It is often reinforced at least two other ways to make the message clear. Let me give you an example of these strings of signs and how it is easy to ignore them. The most common event where these signs are ignored is in relationships. When you first meet someone you are emotionally and physically attracted to them. But, you also get a gut feeling about them. Often that gut feeling is at odds with your attraction. It is then reinforced with that person doing or saying something in the first few days / weeks that makes you sit back a little.

This is where it gets interesting and very human.

We CHOOSE to ignore those signs because in our mind, we don't want to listen, especially when our surface mind says "compromise" and "change" and "overlook" and "I really like" because our attractions appear stronger and more in need of attention than what we dismiss as vague indications. Add to that the thoughts of "I can deal with this" or "what if I am wrong" or sometimes even "but this one is different". Emotions of need, want, desire, lust and Love very often overpower the insight we are given in the beginning. As time marches on, we get more and more indications of that original gut feeling. Very often we choose to continue to ignore those messages. At some point, the messages become so loud and so clear, we can no longer ignore them. Very often at that point we look back and reflect on that original gut feeling and say, I knew in the beginning, if only I had listened!!!

Listening, however, at that point in time (the beginning) takes a lot of courage and strength of conviction in your faith that what your gut feeling tells you is to be acted on immediately. As humans, that is a huge leap of faith and one that we all don't take at different times in our lives. Making mistakes is part of being here. The measure of a person is not whether they make mistakes or not, it is whether they learn from them or not. Experience is what tells you when to listen and what you should do. Will you do that every time? Probably not. Have I? No, of course not. Sometimes it takes a few times of the same messages before we get the lesson. Hindsight is given to us not as something to make us feel bad or have regret, but rather as an invaluable learning tool that we can measure present and future life experiences to help us against repeating the mistake. Sometimes however, instead of learning, we build walls which cloud the lesson, but that is a subject for another day. :)

Look at your life, reflect on the times that you have had that insight in the begining. I am not just talking about relationships here, I am talking about all life situations. Carefully go over the events and pat yourself on the back for the times you did listen, and reflect on the times you didn't listen and how you can learn from that. Above all else, remember we have choice and that choosing to be happy and doing what feels right will always make life a wonderful experience.

Even when we sometimes get a sideways swing.